If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
Very large hands.
What do you call a calf after it's six months old?
Seven months old.
How many witches does it take to change a LED light bulb?
Depends on what you want to change it into!
What do monkeys sing at Christmas?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells..!
By what process could you make a 'Tea-Table' into food?
If you take away the T, it would be eatable.
What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
How can you tell when there is an elephant in your sandwich?
When it is too heavy to lift.
What is the best thing to take when you're run over?
The license plate of the vehicle that hit you.
What happens when you fall in love with a french chef?
You get buttered up.
Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get in!