What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you and leaves. What happened?
The man had the hiccups and the water helped him stop it, and the gun scared him which also help stop his hiccups as well.
What do you call a kitten drinking lemonade?
Why did the pilot sit on her alarm clock?
She wanted to be on time.
Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly?
Because they were Wright (right).
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
Long time no sea.
What do you call an angry polar bear?
Nothing, just run.
What can make the octopus laugh?
Ten tickles (tentacles).
Why does a person who is sick lose his sense of touch?
Because he does not feel well.
Why was the broom late?