Long funny riddles

crazyfunny

A Panda Bear walked into a restaurant. He sat down at a table and ordered some food. When he was finished eating, he took out a gun and shot his waiter. He then left the restaurant.After the police caught up with him, they asked him why he had killed the waiter.He replied, "Look me up in the dictionary." What did the dictionary say?
When they looked up the word "Panda" in the dictionary, it stated, "Panda: Eats shoots and leaves."
75.32 %
532 votes
funnylogictricky

A murdered is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
74.51 %
139 votes
funnylove

You are driving a car on one big stormy night. You pass a bus station. There are three people who are waiting for the bus: One old sick lady who is dying, One doctor who saved your life before, and one lady who is someone you have been dreaming to be with. You can only take one passenger, which one will you choose?
Give the car key to the doctor, let the doctor take the old lady to the hospital and stay to wait for the bus with the lady of your dreams!
74.11 %
223 votes
cleanfunnylogiclove

A doctor and a bus driver are both in love with the same woman, an attractive girl named Sarah. The bus driver had to go on a long bustrip that would last a week. Before he left, he gave Sarah seven apples. Why?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away!
72.99 %
258 votes
cleanfunnytricky

A boy was at a carnival and went to a booth where a man said to the boy, "If I write your exact weight on this piece of paper then you have to give me $50, but if I cannot, I will pay you $50." The boy looked around and saw no scale so he agrees, thinking no matter what the carny writes he'll just say he weighs more or less. In the end the boy ended up paying the man $50. How did the man win the bet?
The man did exactly as he said he would and wrote "your exact weight" on the paper.
72.90 %
147 votes
funnylogicpoems

Four jolly men sat down to play, and played all night till break of day. They played for gold and not for fun, with separate scores for every one. Yet when they came to square accounts, they all had made quite fair amounts! Can you the paradox explain? If no one lost, how could all gain?
The players were musician.
72.48 %
120 votes
funnylogictricky

If a blue house is made out of blue bricks, a yellow house is made out of yellow bricks and a pink house is made out of pink bricks, what is a green house made of?
Glass.
72.35 %
107 votes
crazyfunnytricky

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you and leaves. What happened?
The man had the hiccups and the water helped him stop it, and the gun scared him which also help stop his hiccups as well.
72.26 %
90 votes
funnywhat am I

Scientists have proven that cats have more hair on one side than their other side. Some people believe that this is because when cats lay on their side they need insulation from the cold on the floor or ground. Which side of a cat has more hair?
The outside of the cat of course!
71.80 %
76 votes
funnycrazy

A man came to visit at a convent while the superior mother was out of town. He left before she returned, and was careful to leave nothing behind. The nuns said nothing about his visit, so how did the superior mother figure out that a man had been there?
Because a toilet seat was up.
71.70 %
84 votes
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