Long dirty riddles

dirtyfunny

August was the name of a puppy who was always picking on larger animals. One day he got into an argument with a lion. The next day was the first day of September. Why?
Because that was the last of August.
85.29 %
57 votes
dirtydetectivesimple

A man murders his wife with a knife in their car. Nobody is around to see this. He throws her out of the car being careful not to leave any fingerprints on her body. Next he throws the knife off of a cliff into a gorge where it will never be found and he goes home. An hour later the police call him and tell him that his wife has been murdered and he needs to come to the scene of the crime immediately. As soon as he arrives, he is arrested.
He never ask the cop where the scene of the crime was so they knew that he had murdered his wife.
84.48 %
45 votes
dirty

A girl lives in a house with her parents. There is a cellar door in the house, and her parents warn her to never, ever, open it because she's not ready to see what's behind it. What is on the other side of the door that her parents don't want her to see?
The girl is locked in the cellar. Her parents are both crazed people who thought the best way to protect their daughter would be by locking her in the cellar since she was born. On the other side of the door is the rest of the house, and the outside world.
82.69 %
40 votes
dirtyscarydetective

A young woman is attending her mother's funeral. While there, she meets a man she has never seen before and falls in love immediately. After the funeral she tries to find him but cannot. Several days later she kills her sister. Why does she kill her sister?
She killed her sister hoping to see this man at her sisters funeral. Note: If you thought of this answer easily you may be a psychopath
81.84 %
60 votes
logicdirtymystery

A man eats dinner, goes up to his bedroom, turns off the lights, and goes to sleep. In the morning, he wakes up and looks outside. Horrified at what he sees, he hurls himself out his window to his death. Why does he do this?
The man was a lighthouse operator. He wasn't supposed to turn off his lights. When he wakes up in the morning, he sees a giant ship that has crashed into the land, causing much catastrophe. Unable to go on, he decides to take his own life.
77.64 %
48 votes
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