animalfunnyWhat do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks.
logicBruce is an inmate at a large prison, and like most of the other prisoners, he smokes cigarettes. During his time in the prison, Bruce finds that if he has 3 cigarette butts, he can cram them together and turn them into 1 full cigarette. Whenever he smokes a cigarette, it turns into a cigarette butt.
One day, Bruce is in his cell talking to one of his cellmates, Steve.
"I really want to smoke 5 cigarettes today, but all I have are these 10 cigarette butts," Bruce tells Steve. "I'm not sure that will be enough."
"Why don't you borrow some of Tom's cigarette butts?" asks Steve, pointing over to a small pile of cigarette butts on the bed of their third cellmate, Tom, who is out for the day on a community service project.
"I can't," Bruce says. "Tom always counts exactly how many cigarette butts are in his pile, and he'd probably kill me if he noticed that I had taken any."
However, after thinking for a while, Bruce figures out a way that he can smoke 5 cigarettes without angering Tom. What is his plan?
Bruce takes 9 of his 10 cigarette butts and turns them into 3 cigarettes total (remember, 3 cigarette butts can be turned into 1 cigarette). He smokes all three of these, and now he has 4 cigarette butts.
He then turns 3 of the 4 cigarette butts into another cigarette and smokes it. He has now smoked 4 cigarettes and has 2 cigarette butts.
For the final step, he goes and borrows one of Tom's cigarette butts. With this cigarette butt plus the 2 he already has, he is able to make his 5th cigarette to smoke. After smoking it, he is left with 1 cigarette butt, which he puts back in Tom's pile so that Tom won't find anything missing.
logicOnce there was a night watchman who had been caught several times sleeping on the job. The boss issued the final warning. On the next night he was caught with his head on his hand and his elbows on the desk. "Aha, I've caught you again," exclaimed the boss. The watchman's eyes popped open immediately and he knew what had happened. Being a quick thinking man, he said one word before looking up at the boss. The boss apologized profusely and went home. What was the one word?
The one word was "AMEN", thus making the Boss believe he was praying rather than sleeping.
logic Justin Case and Auntie Bellum are fellow con artists who deliver coded messages to each other to communicate. Recently Auntie Bellum was put in jail for stealing a rare and expensive diamond. Only a few days after this, Justin Case sent her a friendly letter asking her how she was. On the inside of the envelope of the letter, he hid a code. Yesterday, Auntie Bellum escaped and left the envelope and the letter inside the jail cell. The police did some research and found the code on the inside of the envelope, but they haven't been able to crack it. Could you help the police find out what the message is?
This is the code:
llwatchawtfeclocklnisksundialcirbetimersool
The message was "loose bricks in left wall." The message was put backward with words related to time in between. This is how the message looks when separated:
ll watch awtfe clock Inisk sundial cirbe timer sool
If you take out watch, clock, sundial, and timer, this is what is left:
llawtfelniskcirbesool
Look at this backwards and this is what you have:
loose bricks in left wall
Auntie Bellum took out the bricks and escaped in the night. Then, she put the bricks back where they were.
Four cars come to a four way stop, all coming from a different direction. They can't decide who got there first, so they all entered the intersection at the same time. They do not crash into each other. How is this possible?
They all made right hand turns.
logicA man named Stewart is traveling all over the world. First he travels to Cape Town in South Africa. Then to Jakarta in Indonesia. Then to Canberra in Australia. Then to Rome in Italy. Then to Panama City in Panama. Where does he travel next?
Santiago in Chile. He travels to each continent in alphabetical order then to the capital of the country that has the most southern latitude.
logicA sign on the barber's door says "I shave only those who do not shave themselves." Does the barber shave himself?
There is no answer, it's a paradox. It cannot be made to work.
funnyHow do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice, practice, practice.
shortWhat is brown and sticky?
A stick.
shortAt the sound of me, men may dream or stamp their feet.
At the sound of me, women may laugh or sometimes weep.
Music.
