cleanfunnyshort One winter day, there was a man standing in the middle of someone's front yard. The person stayed there for several weeks without moving and the owner of the yard didn't mind. Eventually the man left. Who was the man?
A snowman.
cleanshortWhat's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?
The Presidential Seal.
cleanlogicshortwhat am IWash it and it isn't clean. Don't wash it and then it's clean. What I Am?
Water.
animalfunnyshortWhat do you call lending money to a bison?
A buff-a-loan.
While mixing sand, gravel, and cement for the foundation of a house, a worker noticed a small bird hopping along the top of the foundation wall. The bird misjudged a hop and fell down one of the holes between the blocks. The bird was down too far for anyone to reach it and the hole was too small for it to fly out of. Someone suggested using two sticks to reach down into the hole and pull the bird out, but this idea was rejected for fear it would injure the fragile bird. What would be the easiest way to get the bird out of the hole without injuring it?
Since they had plenty of sand available, they could pour a little at a time into the hole. The bird would constantly keep shifting its position so that it stood on the rising sand.
cleanfunnyshortIf you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have?
Very large hands.
funny A public library suddenly announced that each member could borrow an unlimited number of books and not return them for up to six months. Why?
The library was moving to a new building, but due to poor budgeting, they had little money left for the move. By giving borrowers extra time, it ensures that the borrowers moved most of the books.
funnylogicSam is talking to his lawyer in jail. They are very upset because the judge has refused to grant bail. At the end of the conversation Sam is allowed to leave the jail. Why?
Sam is visiting his lawyer, who had been arrested and jailed.
logicMad Ade's Uncle, Phil Space, who doesn't like what passes for art these days, ran into the National Gallery and caused millions of pounds of damage to several masterpieces. Later that day, Uncle Phil was invited to meet the manager and was warmly thanked for his actions. How come?
Uncle Phil is a fireman The water from his house damaged the paintings as he put out a fire in the Gallery, but in the process rescuing hundreds of millions of pounds worth.
animalfunnyWhat do you get if you cross cat with an elephant?
A flat cat.
