How do you get to Carnegie Hall?
Practice, practice, practice.clean
Whoever makes it, tells it not.
Whoever takes it, knows it not.
Whoever knows it, wants it not.
At the sound of me, men may dream or stamp their feet.
At the sound of me, women may laugh or sometimes weep.
An infinite number of mathematicians are standing behind a bar. The first asks the barman for half a pint of beer, the second for a quarter pint, the third an eighth, and so on. How many pints of beer will the barman need to fulfill all mathematicians' wishes?
You overhear a man talking to a clerk in a hardware store. The clerk says "One will cost you 12 cents, ten will cost your 24 cents, and one hundred will cost you 36 cents."
What is the man buying?
The man is buying physical numbers to nail to the front of his house. Each number costs 12 cents, and so "1" will cost 12 cents, "10" will cost 24 cents, and "100" will cost 36 cents.short
What is the best thing to take when you’re run over?
The license plate of the vehicle that hit you.logic
One morning an airline president is leaving on a business trip and finds he left some paperwork at his office. He runs into his office to get it and the night watchman stops him and says, "Sir, don't get on the plane. I had a dream last night that the plane would crash and everyone would die!" The man takes his word and cancels his trip. Sure enough, the plane crashes and everyone dies. The next morning the man gives the watchman a $1,000 reward for saving his life and then fires him. Why did he fire the watchman that saved his life?
He was fired from sleeping on his job.poemsshort
Dipping, glinting, gliding by,
Rainbow-fretted, wrought of breath.
I live only while I fly –
Earth’s rough kiss my sudden death.
A soap bubble.clean
An old man wanted to leave all of his money to one of his three sons, but he didn't know which one he should give it to. He gave each of them a few coins and told them to buy something that would be able to fill their living room. The first man bought straw, but there was not enough to fill the room. The second bought some sticks, but they still did not fill the room. The third man bought two things that filled the room, so he obtained his father's fortune. What were the two things that the man bought?
The wise son bought a candle and a box of matches. After lighting the candle, the light filled the entire room.clean
What was the biggest island in the world before the discovery of Australia by Captain Cook?
Australia was always the biggest island in the world, even before it was discovered.