What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What does a house wear?
Why did the pilot sit on her alarm clock?
She wanted to be on time.
Whats the difference between love and marriage?
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.
Wednesday, Tom and Joe went to a restaurant and ate dinner.
When they were done they paid for the food and left.
But Tom and Joe didn't pay for the food. Who did?
Wednesday (the name of the third person in the group, not the day).
What do you call a bear without an ear?
What is a frog’s favorite year?
Who is bigger: Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby?
The baby, because he is a little bigger.
What do little trees say on Halloween?
Twig or treat.
Dracula's going to the bank to keep his money, he seems a little more pale than usual, which bank did he go to?
A Blood Bank.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?