What did the rug say to the floor?
Don't move, I've got you covered.
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What part of London is in Brazil?
A man rode out of town on Sunday, he stayed a whole night at a hotel and rode back to town the next day on Sunday. How is this possible?
His Horse was called Sunday!
If Fortune had a daughter, what would her name be?
Misfortune - (Miss Fortune).
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of water. The bartender reaches under the bar and brings out a gun and aims it at the man. The man says thank you and leaves. What happened?
The man had the hiccups and the water helped him stop it, and the gun scared him which also help stop his hiccups as well.
Which is faster among the two? Hot or cold?
Hot is faster, as you can easily catch cold.
What is round on both sides but high in the middle?
What do computer programmers sing in the shower?
What is black and white and read all over?
What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A bird that will talk your ear off.
Joe bets Tony $100 that he can predict the score of the football game before it starts. Tony agrees, but loses the bet. Why did Tony lose the bet?
Joe said the score would be 0-0 and he was right. "Before" any football game starts, the score is always 0-0.