## Every time you stand up

Every time you stand up, you lose this. What is it?

Your lap.

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Every time you stand up, you lose this. What is it?

Your lap.

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What do squirrels give each other for Valentine’s Day?

Forget-me-nuts.

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What is better than presence of mind in an automobile accident?

Absence of body.

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You have 3 jars that are all mislabeled. One jar contains Apple, another contains Oranges and the third jar contains a mixture of both Apple and Oranges.
You are allowed to pick as many fruits as you want from each jar to fix the labels on the jars. What is the minimum number of fruits that you have to pick and from which jars to correctly label them?

Let’s take a scenario. Suppose you pick from jar labelled as Apple and Oranges and you got Apple from it. That means that jar should be Apple as it is incorrectly labelled. So it has to be Apple jar.
Now the jar labelled Oranges has to be Mixed as it cannot be the Oranges jar as they are wrongly labelled and the jar labelled Apple has to be Oranges.
Similar scenario applies if it’s a Oranges taken out from the jar labelled as Apple and Oranges. So you need to pick just one fruit from the jar labelled as Apple and Oranges to correctly label the jars.

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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!

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A man murders his wife with a knife in their car. Nobody is around to see this. He throws her out of the car being careful not to leave any fingerprints on her body. Next he throws the knife off of a cliff into a gorge where it will never be found and he goes home. An hour later the police call him and tell him that his wife has been murdered and he needs to come to the scene of the crime immediately. As soon as he arrives, he is arrested.

He never ask the cop where the scene of the crime was so they knew that he had murdered his wife.

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Only one color, but not one size. Stuck at the bottom, yet I easily fly. Present in sun, but not in rain. Doing no harm, and feeling no pain. What Am I?

Shadow.

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You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, "Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around. You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK... you will die." How do you divide the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?
HINT: The answer does not guarantee 100% you will chose a white marble, but you have a much better chance.

Place 1 white marble in the bowl, and place the rest of the marbles in the other bowl (49 whites, and 50 blacks). This way you begin a 50/50 chance of choosing the bowl with just one white marble, therefore life! BUT even if you choose the other bowl, you still have almost a 50/50 chance at picking one of the 49 white marbles.

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You can easily "tile" an 8x8 chessboard with 32 2x1 tiles, meaning that you can place these 32 tiles on the board and cover every square.
But if you take away two opposite corners from the chessboard, it becomes impossible to tile this new 62-square board.
Can you explain why tiling this board isn't possible?

Color in the chessboard, alternating with red and blue tiles. Then color all of your tiles half red and half blue. Whenever you place a tile down, you can always make it so that the red part of the tile is on a red square and the blue part of the tile is on the blue square.
Since you'll need to place 31 tiles on the board (to cover the 62 squares), you would have to be able to cover 31 red squares and 31 blue squares. But when you took away the two corners, you can see that you are taking away two red spaces, leaving 30 red squares and 32 blue squares. There is no way to cover 30 red squares and 32 blue squares with the 31 tiles, since these tiles can only cover 31 red squares and 31 blue squares, and thus, tiling this board is not possible.

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A woman with no driver license goes the wrong way on a one-way street and turns left at a corner with a no left turn sign. A policeman sees her but does nothing... Why?

She is walking.

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