What do you call an asian vegatable?
Swaff was traveling in an elevator, being cool, when he suddenly heard the cord supporting the elevator snap. Being the cool guy that he is, he knew of a myth where if you could jump at the right time, you could possibly be able to survive a plunge in an elevator.
Now, when Swaff was a boy, he spent all of his math classes making fun of his female teacher's moustache. He never paid attention, so he was a tad bit slow in his mathematical calculations. He did, however, have a very bizarre talent, in which he could tell the exact speed he was traveling. That came in pretty lucky today.
Swaff knew he was falling at an even rate of 50 miles per hour. When the cord snapped, he was exactly 110 feet above the ground. He knew that he must jump at the right time to have any hopes of surviving.
Now, after doing the math, please tell me when Swaff jumped.
He never did. By the time Swaff figured out that he would have to jump in 1.5 seconds, he would already be dead. Not even the best of mathematicians could do all the math needed in 1 and half seconds. Swaff fell to his death.shortwhat am I
I’m tall when I’m young, I’m short when I’m old, and every Halloween I stand up inside Jack O Lanterns. What am I?
A candle.animalcleanshortwhat am I
I am alive without breath and cold as death. I am never thirsty but always drinking. What am I?
It was a man's birthday. He lay dead in the lounge room of his house. Next to his body was a note, written in pencil. The note read 'Happy Birthday, Friend'. The victim had a girlfriend and the police suspected her ex-boyfriend. They could find no obvious evidence. While searching the ex-boyfriend's car, the police saw an envelope with the girlfriend's address written on it. They thought they would get the handwriting checked against the note. The scientist in charge came in early to work the next day; it was 7am. He looked out his window which faced east and stared at the rising sun and it was then that he realised how to prove the ex-boyfriend killed the man, even though the girlfriend's address was not written in the same handwriting. How did he do it?
The scientist's office faced east, and the sun was coming in through the window at a very low angle. He saw some very faint shadows on the surface of the envelope. He looked closer. There were the words embossed on the paper. They read "Happy Birthday, Friend". The ex-boyfriend had forgotten that a pencil leaves an impression on paper beneath the page written on.cleanlogicmysteryshort
A man owned a casino and invited some friends.
It was a dark stormy night, and they all placed their money on the table right before the lights went out.
When the lights came back on, the money was gone.
The owner put a rooster in an old rusty tea kettle.
He told everyone to get in line and touch the kettle after he turned the lights off, and the rooster will crow when the robber touched it.
After everyone touched it, the rooster didn't crow, so the man told everyone to hold out their hands.
After examining all the hands, he pointed out who the robber was.
How did he know who stole the money?
Because the tea kettle was rusty, whoever touched it would have rust on their hands. The robber didn't touch the kettle, therefore he was the only one whose hands weren't rusty.funnyshort
What has five eyes, but cannot see?
The Mississippi River.