Two sentries were on duty outside a barracks. One faced up the road to watch for anyone approaching from the North. The other looked down the road to see if anyone was approached from the South. Suddenly one of them said to the other, "Why are you smiling?" How did he know that his companion was smiling?
Although the guards were looking in opposite directions, they were not back to back. They were facing each other.animalcleanfunnyshort
What animal do you think is the best at baseball?
What can you catch but not throw?
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player?
Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.animalclean
What do you call two birds in love?
This guy living on the 20th floor in an apartment building got up early each morning to go to work in a downtown store. He always went into the elevator on the 20th floor and rode down to the entrance (1st floor). When he came home he always rode the elevator from the entrance and up to the 8th floor. He walked out of the elevator and walked the stairs up to his apartment on the 20th floor. Why didn't he take the elevator all the way up to his apartment?
This guy is midget and can only reach to the 8th floor button. animalcleanfunny
What is a sick crocodile?
I can swim or walk for miles.
I’m big with thick, white hair.
I live up in the Arctic.
What I am?
A hobo had just been kicked off the train by one of the bosses. As he made his way down a dusty side road, he noticed a saffron robed man sitting next to a campfire apparently deep in thought. A wonderful smelling stew was bubbling in a pot next to him. It had been a full day since the hobo's last meal, so he went over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder.
"I see by your robes that you are some kind of holy man," said the hobo.
The Zen Master turned to the hobo and said, "You speak the truth."
The hobo spoke, "I would sure like to try the stew you have on the campfire there; perhaps if I could tell you something to increase your wisdom, you will agree to share your meal."
The Zen Master turned to the hobo and said, "Please, you are welcome to share my meal because you have already increased my wisdom!"
What had the Zen Master learned from the hobo to increase his wisdom?
The Zen Master learned that he should find a more privace place to meditate if he doesn't want to be interrupted by every vagabond that happens by.funnylogic
"Welcome back to the show. Before the break, Mr Ixolite here made it to our grand finale! How do you feel Mr.Ix?"
"Okay, now to win the star prize of one million pounds all you have to do is answer the following question in 90 seconds."
"Okay, I'm ready."
"Right. In 90 seconds name 100 words that do NOT contain the letter 'A'. Start the clock!"
Can you help?
One, two, three, four, five...one hundred! I just counted from 1 to 100 in ninety seconds (it is possible).