crazyfunnyshortWhy are televisions attracted to people ?
Because, people turn them on.
cleanfunnyloveshortHow do you get the attention of someone you love?
By screaming out "I love you" loudly to someone else.
animalcrazyfunnyshortWhat do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster?
Cockerpoodledoo.
logicA man needs to send important documents to his friend across the country. He buys a suitcase to put the documents in, but he has a problem: the mail system in his country is very corrupt, and he knows that if he doesn't lock the suitcase, it will be opened by the post office and his documents will be stolen before they reach his friend.
There are lock stores across the country that sell locks with keys. The only problem is that if he locks the suitcase, he has no way to send the key to his friend so that the friend will be able to open the lock: if he doesn't send the key, then the friend can't open the lock, and if he puts the key in the suitcase, then the friend won't be able to get to the key.
The suitcase is designed so that any number of locks can be put on it, but the man figures that putting more than one lock on the suitcase will only compound the problem.
After a few days, however, he figures out how to safely send the documents. He calls his friend who he's sending the documents to and explains the plan.
What is the man's plan?
The plan is this:
1. The man will put a lock on the suitcase, keep the key, and send the suitcase to his friend.
2. The friend will then put his own lock on the suitcase as well, keep the key to that lock, and send the suitcase back to the man.
3. The man will use his key to remove his lock from the suitcase, and send it back to the friend.
4. The friend will remove his own lock from the suitcase and get to the documents.
logicshortWhy do elephants have trunks?
Because they'd look silly with handbags.
cleanshortThe more it dries, the wetter it gets. What is it?
A towel.
cleanfunnyshortWhat do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
Big holes all over Australia!
logicshortwhat am IThe more you take away, the bigger I become. What am I?
Hole.
animalcleanfunnyshortWhy did the bee get married?
Because he found his honey.
logicTwo men ride their horses to the town blacksmith to ask for his daughter's hand in marriage. To help decide who will get to marry her, the blacksmith proposes a very strange race:
"You will race your horses down the mile-long road from here to to the center of town, and the man whose horse passes through city hall's gates LAST will get to marry my daughter."
The men have no idea how to proceed, but after a few minutes of thinking, they come up with a great idea to abide by the blacksmith's rules. 30 minutes later, one of the men is gloating, having won the daughter's hand in marriage.
What was the idea the men had?
Each man rides the other man's horse. They race as they normally would. The blacksmith said the man whose horse crosses last would win, so the man who wins the race would have his horse finish last.
