I am the black child of a white father, a wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven. I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me, even though there is no cause for grief, and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air. What am I?
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws.
A young boy went to a Catholic school. During school he started goofing around, so the teacher called him out and sent him to the Pastor. Since this was a traditional school the boy would be spanked, but the Pastor believed in giving people a chance.
He said, "If you can ask me a question about something you learned and I don't know the answer on the spot you will go free."
The boy may have been lazy, but he was very witty. He asked, "What is it that you can see and I can see, usually every day, but God cannot see." The Pastor stood there, stumped. He couldn't figure it out because he strongly believed that God sees and knows all, and that there is only one God. The boy smiled and told him.
What was it?
His own equal! We see our equals everyday, but since there is one God, he cannot see someone equal to himself.
A group of campers have been on vacation so long, that they've forgotten the day of the week. The following conversation ensues.
Darryl: "What's the day? I dont think it is Thursday, Friday or Saturday."
Tracy: "Well that doesn't narrow it down much. Yesterday was Sunday."
Melissa: "Yesterday wasn't Sunday, tomorrow is Sunday."
Ben: "The day after tomorrow is Saturday."
Adrienne: "The day before yesterday was Thursday."
Susie: "Tomorrow is Saturday."
David: "I know that the day after tomorrow is not Friday."
If only one person's statement is true, what day of the week is it?
A couple went on for a climbing trip. But only the husband returned from the vacation and said that his wife slipped off while climbing and died. On investigating, the local sheriff arrested him saying, 'Your travel agent called. You murdered your wife.'
The man did not inform anyone about the trip. Then how did the agent was so sure that it is a murder?
The man bought only one way ticket for his wife whereas he bought two way ticket for himself. It means that he was sure that he will be returning alone.
Mad Ade's Uncle, Phil Space, who doesn't like what passes for art these days, ran into the National Gallery and caused millions of pounds of damage to several masterpieces. Later that day, Uncle Phil was invited to meet the manager and was warmly thanked for his actions. How come?
Uncle Phil is a fireman The water from his house damaged the paintings as he put out a fire in the Gallery, but in the process rescuing hundreds of millions of pounds worth.