If you had one match and entered a room in which there were a kerosene lamp, an oil burner, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
This is as light as a feather, yet no man can hold it for long. What am I?
A murdered is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.cleanfunny
Why does a person who is sick lose his sense of touch?
Because he does not feel well.cleanshort
Where do bedtime books sleep?
Under their covers.logic
One morning an airline president is leaving on a business trip and finds he left some paperwork at his office. He runs into his office to get it and the night watchman stops him and says, "Sir, don't get on the plane. I had a dream last night that the plane would crash and everyone would die!" The man takes his word and cancels his trip. Sure enough, the plane crashes and everyone dies. The next morning the man gives the watchman a $1,000 reward for saving his life and then fires him. Why did he fire the watchman that saved his life?
He was fired from sleeping on his job.crazyfunny
Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?
It might crack up.cleanfunny
What kind of flower lives between your mouth amd chin? Two-lips.
You are a bus driver. The bus starts out empty.
At the first stop 4 people get on.
At the second stop, 8 people get on and 3 get off.
At the third stop, 2 people get off and 4 get on.
The question is, what color are the bus driver's eyes?
Since the riddle starts out by saying you are the bus driver, the answer would be the color of your own eyes. funnyshort
How can a man go eight days without sleep?
He sleeps at nigt.