Two workmen were repairing a roof. Suddenly, they both fell down the chimney and found themselves in the large fireplace.
One man`s face was smeared with soot and one wasn`t. The one with the clean face washed his and the dirty man did not and went back to work. Why?
When the two men looked at each other, the clean man thought his face was dirty as well. The dirty man, looking at the first's place, thought his was clean.funnyshort
They are twin sisters, same height; they work in the kitchen, arm in arm. Whatever is cooked, they always try it first.
What type of house weighs the least?
During the Summer Olympics, a fellow competed in the long jump and out-jumped everybody. He didn't just win the event, he actually broke the world record held for that event. Nobody broke his record for the remainder of the Olympics, and still today his name is in the record books.
However, even though he holds the world record, he never received a medal in the long jump. How did he manage to do so well, but not receive a medal?
He was competing in the decathlon. He won the long jump event, but didn't perform very well in the other events. He lost the decathlon, so he didn't receive any medals (even though he hold the world record for long jump). cleanshort
You saw me where I never was and where I could not be. And yet within that very place, my face you often see.
One company had two factories, in different parts of the country, that were making the same style of shoes. In both factories, workers were stealing shoes. How, without using any security, could that company stop the stealing?
Make one factory make the left shoe, and the other make the right shoe.
Why is a crash of thunder like a jewler?
Because both make the ear-ring.cleanfunny
What does the orange do, when it takes a test?
What is a tree's favorite drink?
You walk into a creepy house by yourself. There is no electricity, plumbing or ventilation. Inside you notice 3 doors with numbers on them. Once you open the doors you will die a particular way.
Door #1 You’ll be eaten by a lion who is hungry.
Door #2 You’ll be stabbed to death.
Door #3 There is an electric chair waiting for you.
Which door do you pick?
Door #3, Since There Is No Electricity To Harm You.