A murdered is condemned to death.
He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?
The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
Elmer Johnson went to the hardware store to make a purchase for his house.
He asked the store clerk, "How much will one cost?"
The clerk thought for a moment and said, "Three dollars."
Elmer Johnson, who looked a little puzzled said, "Well then, how much will twelve cost?"
"Six dollars," replied the clerk.
Elmer Johnson scratched his head and said, "If I were to purchase two hundred, how much would that cost?"
"That," said the clerk, "will cost you nine dollars." What was Elmer Johnson buying?
A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot.
How can this be?