## Left and right hands

What can you hold in your left hand, but not in your right hand?

Your right hand.

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What can you hold in your left hand, but not in your right hand?

Your right hand.

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Some months have 30 days, and some months have 31 days. How many have 28?

All of them.

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Galaxy Detective Karamchand was on a case. A spaceship was lost. Her partner, Galaxy Junior Detective Brightstar gave her a piece of paper.
This was the location of the spaceship! This is what the slip had scribbled on it: Juice, Umbrella, Potato, Ice, Tomato, Elephant, Rice.
Where is the spaceship?

JUPITER.

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Farmer Brown came to town with some watermelons. He sold half of them plus half a melon and found that he had one whole melon left. How many melons did he take to town?

Easy, three melons.

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Can you spot what's wrong with the following sentence?
PETER WAS ANGRY AT
HIMSELF BECAUSE HE
ACCIDENTALLY LEFT THE
THE KEYS TO HIS CAR
AT HIS FRIEND'S HOUSE.

It contains the word "THE" twice in a row.

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I can fly but I have no wings. I can cry but I have no eyes. Wherever I go, darkness follows me. What am I?

Cloud.

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What did the valentine card say to the stamp?

Stick with me and we’ll go places.

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If a man carried my burden
He would break his back.
I am not rich,
but leave silver in my track.

Snail.

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A man who lives in Middletown has two girlfriends, one in Northtown and one in Southtown. Trains from the Middletown train station leave for Northtown once every hour. Separate trains from the station also leave for Southtown once every hour. No trains go to both Northtown and Southtown.
Each day he gets to the Middletown train station at a completely random time and gets onto the first train that is going to either Northtown or Southtown, whichever comes first.
After a few months, he realizes that he spends 80% of his days with his girlfriend from Northtown, and only 20% of his days with his girlfriend from Southtown.
How could this be?

The train to Northtown leaves every hour, on the hour (9:00AM, 10:00AM, etc...).
The train to Southtown leaves at 12 after the hour (9:12AM, 10:12AM, etc...).
So there is only a 12/60 (1/5) chance that he will end up on the train to Southtown each day, since he will usually get to the station during the 48 minutes of each hour when the train to Northtown will be the next to come.

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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