General Custer is surrounded by Indians and he's the only cowboy left.
He finds an old lamp in front of him and rubs it. Out pops a genie. The genie grants Custer one wish, with a catch. He says, "Whatever you wish for, each Indian will get two of the same thing." Custer ponders a while and thinks:"If I get a bow and arrow they get two. If I get a rifle they get two!" He then rubs the bottle again and out pops the genie. "Well," the genie asks "have you made up your mind?"
What did Custer ask for to help him get away?
One glass eye.logic
If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?
Same question, but the location is in Canada?
Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last.
Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen?
The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it.
Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...clean
With thieves I consort,
with the vilest, in short,
I'm quite at ease in depravity;
Yes all divines use me,
And savants can't lose me,
For I am the center of gravity.
Why is a crash of thunder like a jewler?
Because both make the ear-ring.funny
There are ten people in a house. Everybody wants to make a hand shake with only people shorter than themselves. Assume everybody is different in height. How many hand shakes are made?
0, because a taller person wants to shake hands with a shorter person. But the shorter person doesn't want to shake hands with him. logic
You walk into a creepy house by yourself. There is no electricity, plumbing or ventilation. Inside you notice 3 doors with numbers on them. Once you open the doors you will die a particular way.
Door #1 You’ll be eaten by a lion who is hungry.
Door #2 You’ll be stabbed to death.
Door #3 There is an electric chair waiting for you.
Which door do you pick?
Door #3, Since There Is No Electricity To Harm You.logic
Once upon a time, in the West Lake village, a servant lived with his master. After service of about 30 years, his master became ill and was going to die. One day, the master called his servant and asked him for a wish. It could be any wish but just one. The master gave him one day to think about it. The servant became very happy and went to his mother for discussion about the wish. His mother was blind and she asked her son for making a wish for her eye-sight to come back. Then the servant went to his wife. She became very excited and asked for a son as they were childless for many years. After that, the servant went to his father who wanted to be rich and so he asked his son to wish for a lot of money. The next day he went to his master and made one wish through which all the three (mother, father, wife) got what they wanted. You have to tell what the servant asked the master.
The servant said, "My mother wants to see her grandson swinging on a swing of gold."
The day before two days after the day before tomorrow is Saturday. What day is it today?
Many years ago a wealthy old man was near death. He wished to leave his fortune to one of his three children. The old man wanted to know that his fortune would be in wise hands. He stipulated that his estate would be left to the child who would sing him half as many songs as days that he had left to live.The eldest son said he couldn't comply because he didn't know how many days his father had left to live and besides he was too busy. The youngest son said the same thing. The man ended up leaving his money to his third child a daughter. What did his daughter do?
Every other day, the daughter sang her father a song.short
Take away my first letter, and I still sound the same. Take away my last letter, I still sound the same. Even take away my letter in the middle, I will still sound the same. I am a five letter word. What am I?