## Foot on each side and one in the middle

What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?

A yardstick.

What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?

A yardstick.

I am full of holes but I can still hold water. What am I?

A sponge.

A monk leaves at sunrise and walks on a path from the front door of his monastery to the top of a nearby mountain. He arrives at the mountain summit exactly at sundown. The next day, he rises again at sunrise and descends down to his monastery, following the same path that he took up the mountain.
Assuming sunrise and sunset occured at the same time on each of the two days, prove that the monk must have been at some spot on the path at the same exact time on both days.

Imagine that instead of the same monk walking down the mountain on the second day, that it was actually a different monk. Let's call the monk who walked up the mountain monk A, and the monk who walked down the mountain monk B. Now pretend that instead of walking down the mountain on the second day, monk B actually walked down the mountain on the first day (the same day monk A walks up the mountain).
Monk A and monk B will walk past each other at some point on their walks. This moment when they cross paths is the time of day at which the actual monk was at the same point on both days. Because in the new scenario monk A and monk B MUST cross paths, this moment must exist.

Why is Santa so good at Karate?

Because he has a black belt.

If,
Fernando + Alonso + McLaren = 6
Fernando x Alonso = 2
Alonso x McLaren = 6
Then,
McLaren x Fernando = ?

3 or 0.75
Explanation:
Rewriting the last 2 equations in terms of Alonso,
Fernando = 2/Alonso
McLaren = 6/Alonso
Replacing above values in equation "Fernando + Alonso + McLaren = 6"
2/Alonso + Alonso + 6/Alonso =6
(2 + Alonso^2 + 6)/Alonso = 6
8 + Alonso^2 = 6Alonso
Alonso^2 - 6Alonso + 8 = 0
(Alonso - 4) (Alonso - 2) = 0
Therefore;
Alonso = 4 or 2
Let's take value of Alonso as 2
Fernando = 2/2 = 1
McLaren = 6/2 = 3
Therefore;
McLaren x Fernando = 3 x 1 = 3
Let's take value of Alonso as 4
Fernando = 2/4 = 0.5
McLaren = 6/4 = 1.5
Therefore;
McLaren x Fernando = 1.5 x 0.5 = 0.75

What do the dentists call the astronauts cavity?

A black hole.

A king has 100 identical servants, each with a different rank between 1 and 100. At the end of each day, each servant comes into the king's quarters, one-by-one, in a random order, and announces his rank to let the king know that he is done working for the day. For example, servant 14 comes in and says "Servant 14, reporting in."
One day, the king's aide comes in and tells the king that one of the servants is missing, though he isn't sure which one.
Before the other servants begin reporting in for the night, the king asks for a piece of paper to write on to help him figure out which servant is missing. Unfortunately, all that's available is a very small piece that can only hold one number at a time. The king is free to erase what he writes and write something new as many times as he likes, but he can only have one number written down at a time.
The king's memory is bad and he won't be able to remember all the exact numbers as the servants report in, so he must use the paper to help him.
How can he use the paper such that once the final servant has reported in, he'll know exactly which servant is missing?

When the first servant comes in, the king should write down his number. For each other servant that reports in, the king should add that servant's number to the current number written on the paper, and then write this new number on the paper.
Once the final servant has reported in, the number on the paper should equal
(1 + 2 + 3 + ... + 99 + 100) - MissingServantsNumber
Since (1 + 2 + 3 + ... + 99 + 100) = 5050, we can rephrase this to say that the number on the paper should equal
5050 - MissingServantsNumber
So to figure out the missing servant's number, the king simply needs to subtract the number written on his paper from 5050:
MissingServantsNumber = 5050 - NumberWrittenOnThePaper

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because it was not peeling well.

Dracula's going to the bank to keep his money, he seems a little more pale than usual, which bank did he go to?

A Blood Bank.

Say my name and I disappear.

Silence.