Two workmen were repairing a roof. Suddenly, they both fell down the chimney and found themselves in the large fireplace.
One man`s face was smeared with soot and one wasn`t. The one with the clean face washed his and the dirty man did not and went back to work. Why?
When the two men looked at each other, the clean man thought his face was dirty as well. The dirty man, looking at the first's place, thought his was clean.funnyshort
If Fortune had a daughter, what would her name be?
Misfortune - (Miss Fortune).funnyshort
They are twin sisters, same height; they work in the kitchen, arm in arm. Whatever is cooked, they always try it first.
You are on your way to visit your Grandma, who lives at the end of the valley. It's her anniversary, and you want to give her the cakes you've made. Between your house and her house, you have to cross 5 bridges, and as it goes in the land of make believe, there is a troll under every bridge! Each troll, quite rightly, insists that you pay a troll toll. Before you can cross their bridge, you have to give them half of the cakes you are carrying, but as they are kind trolls, they each give you back a single cake.
How many cakes do you have to leave home with to make sure that you arrive at Grandma's with exactly 2 cakes?
At each bridge you are required to give half of your cakes, and you receive one back. Which leaves you with 2 cakes after every bridge.cleanfunnylogic
A blind man walks into a hardware store to buy a hammer. There are hammers hanging behind the front desk, but obviously the blind man isn't able to see them. And yet a few minutes later, he happily walks out of the store, having just purchased a new hammer.
How did he do it?
He walks up the the front desk where the clerk is working and says "I'd like to buy a hammer."logic
Mr. Black, Mr. Gray, and Mr. White are fighting in a truel. They each get a gun and take turns shooting at each other until only one person is left. Mr. Black, who hits his shot 1/3 of the time, gets to shoot first. Mr. Gray, who hits his shot 2/3 of the time, gets to shoot next, assuming he is still alive. Mr. White, who hits his shot all the time, shoots next, assuming he is also alive. The cycle repeats. All three competitors know one another's shooting odds. If you are Mr. Black, where should you shoot first for the highest chance of survival?
He should shoot at the ground. If Mr. Black shoots the ground, it is Mr. Gray's turn. Mr. Gray would rather shoot at Mr. White than Mr. Black, because he is better. If Mr. Gray kills Mr. White, it is just Mr. Black and Mr. Gray left, giving Mr. Black a fair chance of winning. If Mr. Gray does not kill Mr. White, it is Mr. White's turn. He would rather shoot at Mr. Gray and will definitely kill him. Even though it is now Mr. Black against Mr. White, Mr. Black has a better chance of winning than before.crazyfunnyshort
A lemon and an orange were on a high diving board. The orange jumped off. Why didn’t the lemon?
Because it was yellow.cleanfunnyshort
If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become?
What is blue, green, yellow, purple, brown, black, and grey?
A box of crayonst.logic
General Custer is surrounded by Indians and he's the only cowboy left.
He finds an old lamp in front of him and rubs it. Out pops a genie. The genie grants Custer one wish, with a catch. He says, "Whatever you wish for, each Indian will get two of the same thing." Custer ponders a while and thinks:"If I get a bow and arrow they get two. If I get a rifle they get two!" He then rubs the bottle again and out pops the genie. "Well," the genie asks "have you made up your mind?"
What did Custer ask for to help him get away?
One glass eye.