What nuts give you a cold?
Cachoo (cashew) nuts.cleanshort
When a girl slips on the ice, why can't her brother help her up?
He can't be a brother and assist her (a sister).cleanfunny
A bus driver was heading down a street in Colorado. He went right past a stop sign without stopping, he turned left where there was a "no left turn" sign, and he went the wrong way on a one-way street. Then he went on the left side of the road past a cop car. Still - he didn't break any traffic laws.
He was walking...not driving.cleanshortwhat am I
I am a five letter word and very strong. I become single when you remove two letters from me. What Am I?
How many times do a clock's hands overlap in a day ?
One day, Emperor Akbar posed a question to Birbal. He asked him what Birbal would choose if he offered either justice or a gold coin.
"The gold coin," said Birbal without hesitation.
On hearing this, Akbar was taken aback. "You would prefer a gold coin to justice?" he asked, not believing his own ears.
"Yes," said Birbal.
The other courtiers were amazed by Birbal's display of idiocy. They were full of glee that Birbal had finally managed himself to do what these courtiers had not been able to do for a long time - discredit Birbal in the emperor's eyes!
"I would have been disappointed if this was the choice made even by my lowliest of servants," continued the emperor. "But coming from you it's not only disappointing, but shocking and sad. I did not know you were so debased!"
How did Birbal justify his answer to the enraged and hurt Emperor?
"One asks for what one does not have, Your Majesty." said Birbal, smiling gently and in quiet tones.
"Under Your Majesty´s rule, justice is available to everybody. But I am a spendthrift and always short of money and therefore I said I would choose the gold coin."
The answer immensely pleased the emperor and respect for Birbal was once again restored in the emperor's eyes.animalcleanfunny
What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A man had a book that was worth $40,000. There were only 2 books in existence. He threw it in the furnace, reducing it to a pile of soot. Why did he do this?
He destroyed the book because he has two, and by only having one, the value goes up.funnyshort
What has a ring but no finger?
A telephone. cleanlogic
This guy living on the 20th floor in an apartment building got up early each morning to go to work in a downtown store. He always went into the elevator on the 20th floor and rode down to the entrance (1st floor). When he came home he always rode the elevator from the entrance and up to the 8th floor. He walked out of the elevator and walked the stairs up to his apartment on the 20th floor. Why didn't he take the elevator all the way up to his apartment?
This guy is midget and can only reach to the 8th floor button.