August was the name of a puppy who was always picking on larger animals. One day he got into an argument with a lion. The next day was the first day of September. Why?
A public library suddenly announced that each member could borrow an unlimited number of books and not return them for up to six months. Why?
The library was moving to a new building, but due to poor budgeting, they had little money left for the move. By giving borrowers extra time, it ensures that the borrowers moved most of the books.
Two blondes were going to disneyland and came to a fork in the road. One way said highway 93 right and the other said Disneyland left. Why did the blondes go home?
Because they thought that disneyland actually left.
A magician was boasting one day at how long he could hold his breath under water. His record was 6 minutes. A kid that was listening said, "that's nothing, I can stay under water for 10 minutes using no types of equipment or air pockets!" The magician told the kid if he could do that, he'd give him $10,000. The kid did it and won the money. How did he do it?
The kid filled a glass of water and held it over his head for 10 minutes.
