logicshort Swaff was traveling in an elevator, being cool, when he suddenly heard the cord supporting the elevator snap. Being the cool guy that he is, he knew of a myth where if you could jump at the right time, you could possibly be able to survive a plunge in an elevator.
Now, when Swaff was a boy, he spent all of his math classes making fun of his female teacher's moustache. He never paid attention, so he was a tad bit slow in his mathematical calculations. He did, however, have a very bizarre talent, in which he could tell the exact speed he was traveling. That came in pretty lucky today.
Swaff knew he was falling at an even rate of 50 miles per hour. When the cord snapped, he was exactly 110 feet above the ground. He knew that he must jump at the right time to have any hopes of surviving.
Now, after doing the math, please tell me when Swaff jumped.

He never did. By the time Swaff figured out that he would have to jump in 1.5 seconds, he would already be dead. Not even the best of mathematicians could do all the math needed in 1 and half seconds. Swaff fell to his death.

cleanfunnyloveshortWhere does Valentine’s Day come after Easter?

In the dictionary.

shortHow do you spell a pretty girl with only two letters?

QT.

cleanfunnyWhat did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around, I'll go ahead.

cleanfunnyshortWhat is the longest word in the dictionary?

Smiles, because there is a mile between each "s".

cleanlogicA boy was rushed to the hospital emergency room. The ER doctor saw the boy and said, "I cannot operate on this boy. He is my son." But the doctor was not the boy's father. How could that be?

The doctor was his mom.

cleanfunnyshortWhat kind of dog never bites?

A hot dog.

cleanEinstein’slogicFive friends have their gardens next to one another, where they grow three kinds of crops: fruits (apple, pear, nut, cherry), vegetables (carrot, parsley, gourd, onion) and flowers (aster, rose, tulip, lily).
They grow 12 different varieties.
Everybody grows exactly 4 different varieties
Each variety is at least in one garden.
Only one variety is in 4 gardens.
Only in one garden are all 3 kinds of crops.
Only in one garden are all 4 varieties of one kind of crops.
Pears are only in the two border gardens.
Paul's garden is in the middle with no lily.
Aster grower doesn't grow vegetables.
Rose grower doesn't grow parsley.
Nuts grower has also gourd and parsley.
In the first garden are apples and cherries.
Only in two gardens are cherries.
Sam has onions and cherries.
Luke grows exactly two kinds of fruit.
Tulips are only in two gardens.
Apples are in a single garden.
Only in one garden next to the Zick's is parsley.
Sam's garden is not on the border.
Hank grows neither vegetables nor asters.
Paul has exactly three kinds of vegetable.
Who has which garden and what is grown where?

cleanlogicshortWhat 8 letter word can have a letter taken away and it still makes a word. Take another letter away and it still makes a word. Keep on doing that until you have one letter left. What is the word?

The word is starting! starting, staring, string, sting, sing, sin, in, i.

cleancrazyfunnyWhat do computer programmers sing in the shower?

Disc-o.