Riddle #690

funny

Superior mother

A man came to visit at a convent while the superior mother was out of town. He left before she returned, and was careful to leave nothing behind. The nuns said nothing about his visit, so how did the superior mother figure out that a man had been there?
Because a toilet seat was up.
93.70 %
40 votes

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Two blondes going to disneyland

Two blondes were going to disneyland and came to a fork in the road. One way said highway 93 right and the other said Disneyland left. Why did the blondes go home?
Because they thought that disneyland actually left.
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The biggest hat

A lawyer, a plumber and a hat maker were walking down the street. Who had the biggest hat?
The one with the biggest head.
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I know almost every song that has ever existed

A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the man next to him pull a wad of £50 notes out of his wallet. He turns to the rich man and says to him, 'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.' The rich man laughs. The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.' The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, Joanna Armstrong-Miller?' The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich. What song did he sing?
Happy Birthday.
86.45 %
52 votes

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Cards on the ark

Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Because Noah sat on the deck.
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