How can you tell if a man is wearing an Italian suit?
It has spaghetti stains down the front.
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Which part of a road do Ghost's love to travel the most?
The Dead End.
Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs?
Two blondes were going to disneyland and came to a fork in the road. One way said highway 93 right and the other said Disneyland left. Why did the blondes go home?
Because they thought that disneyland actually left.
By what process could you make a 'Tea-Table' into food?
If you take away the T, it would be eatable.
A hungry donkey was tied to a rope eight feet long. About thirty feet away there was a basket of fresh carrots. The donkey wanted to eat those carrots. How did he reach them?
It's not tied to anything else!
Why do birds fly south in the Fall?
Because it’s too far to walk.
If six children and two dogs were under an umbrella, how come none of them got wet?
Because it wasn’t raining.
What do you call an angry polar bear?
Nothing, just run.
Your bike crashed into the dark forest and suddenly you saw and deadly panther and jaguar. You got just one bullet.
What is your escape strategy?
Simple, you must shoot the panther and drive off in the jaguar (car).
Dogs have fleas. What do sheep have?