## What goes up

What goes up when the rain comes down?

Umbrella.

What goes up when the rain comes down?

Umbrella.

How can you divide a pizza into 8 equal slices using only 3 straight cuts?

Cut 1: Cut the pizza straight down the middle into two halves.
Cut 2: Keeping the two halves in the place, cut the pizza straight down the middle at right angles to the first cut (you will be left with 4 equal quarters)
Cut 3: Pile the 4 quarters on top of each other and cut through the middle of the pile. You will be left with 8 equal slices.

You meet Dracula and his new girlfriend at a bar, you ask how they met. What is Dracula’s response?

It was love at first bite.

You are a prisoner sentenced to death. The Emperor offers you a chance to live by playing a simple game. He gives you 50 black marbles, 50 white marbles and 2 empty bowls. He then says, "Divide these 100 marbles into these 2 bowls. You can divide them any way you like as long as you use all the marbles. Then I will blindfold you and mix the bowls around. You then can choose one bowl and remove ONE marble. If the marble is WHITE you will live, but if the marble is BLACK... you will die." How do you divide the marbles up so that you have the greatest probability of choosing a WHITE marble?
HINT: The answer does not guarantee 100% you will chose a white marble, but you have a much better chance.

Place 1 white marble in the bowl, and place the rest of the marbles in the other bowl (49 whites, and 50 blacks). This way you begin a 50/50 chance of choosing the bowl with just one white marble, therefore life! BUT even if you choose the other bowl, you still have almost a 50/50 chance at picking one of the 49 white marbles.

Consider the following explanation for why 1=2:
1. Start out Let y = x
2. Multiply through by x xy = x2
3. Subtract y2 from each side xy - y2 = x2 - y2
4. Factor each side y(x-y) = (x+y)(x-y)
5. Divide both sides by (x-y) y = x+y
6. Divide both sides by y y/y = x/y + y/y
7. And so... 1 = x/y + 1
8. Since x=y, x/y = 1 1 = 1 + 1
8. And so... 1 = 2
How is this possible?

Step 5 is invalid, because we are dividing by (x-y), and since x=y, we are thus dividing by 0. This is an invalid mathematical operation (division by 0), and so by not followinng basic mathematical rules, we are able to get strange results like these.

General Custer is surrounded by Indians and he's the only cowboy left.
He finds an old lamp in front of him and rubs it. Out pops a genie. The genie grants Custer one wish, with a catch. He says, "Whatever you wish for, each Indian will get two of the same thing." Custer ponders a while and thinks:"If I get a bow and arrow they get two. If I get a rifle they get two!" He then rubs the bottle again and out pops the genie. "Well," the genie asks "have you made up your mind?"
What did Custer ask for to help him get away?

One glass eye.

Which month has 30 days?

All of them, except February.

Tom's height is six feet, he is an assistant at a butcher's shop, and wears size 12 shoes. What does he weigh?

Meat.

What did the baseball glove say to the baseball?

Catch ya later!

Some days you think i'm pretty, but some days you think i'm ugly. Some days you'll love me, but some days you'll hate me. If you think i'm not good enough, you might get rid of me. Who am I?

I'm YOU! Some days you think you're pretty, but some days you think you're ugly. Some days you'll love yourself, but some days you'll hate yourself. And if you think you are not good enough, you might get rid of yourself. Life is amazing :) Live your life to the fullest!