Why did the doughnut shop close?
The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!short
There is one thing that goes round the house and also inside the house but never even share a brief touch. What is it?
This is as light as a feather, yet no man can hold it for long. What am I?
You are driving a car on one big stormy night. You pass a bus station. There are three people who are waiting for the bus: One old sick lady who is dying, One doctor who saved your life before, and one lady who is someone you have been dreaming to be with. You can only take one passenger, which one will you choose?
Give the car key to the doctor, let the doctor take the old lady to the hospital and stay to wait for the bus with the lady of your dreams!
Mike was watching T.V. and all of a sudden he leaps to his feet and says, "That's Simon", pointing at someone who was at the screen. Then his brother Mark comes in, looks at his brother, then looks back at the T.V. and says, "So it is." How do they know Simon if they hadn't seen him before, no pictures, nothing?
He is their lost, separated triplet brother. clean
There is a low railroad bridge in your town. One day you see a large truck stopped just before the underpass. When you ask what has happened, the driver tells you that his truck is one inch higher than the indicated height of the opening. This is the only road to his destination. What can he do to get through the underpass the easiest way?
Let enough air out of the tires to lower the truck.logic
The Pope, Beyonce, Barack Obama, and Bill Gates are on the same plane.
There are only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.
Obama says: "As the President, I think I should have the right to have a parachute, because I rule millions of people in the greatest nation of all."
Beyonce says: "As one of the greatest singers of all-time, I think I should deserve to be safe. I bring tears and laughter to millions of people, and I'm an important contributor to pop music."
Bill Gates says: "As one of the richest successful company owners, I think I should live because I'm on top of the economics cycle, creating jobs and incomes for millions of people. I am a wealthy and intelligent man."
Finally, the Pope says: "I'm an old, religious man. I lived a life that's full, I helped millions of people find their way through God, I'm ready to let go of a parachute and to face my fate."
Which one of them will abandon the parachute and die?
Did I ever mention that the plane was crashing? No one's gonna die.logic
Pirate Pete had been captured by a Spanish general and sentenced to death by his 50-man firing squad. Pete cringed, as he knew their reputation for being the worst firing squad in the Spanish military. They were such bad shots that they would often all miss their targets and simply maim their victims, leaving them to bleed to death, as the general's tradition was to only allow one shot per man to save on ammunition. The thought of a slow painful death made Pete beg for mercy.
"Very well, I have some compassion. You may choose where the men stand when they shoot you and I will add 50 extra men to the squad to ensure someone will at least hit you. Perhaps if they stand closer they will kill you quicker, if you're lucky," snickered the general. "Oh, and just so you don't get any funny ideas, they can't stand more than 20 ft away, they must be facing you, and you must remain tied to the post in the middle of the yard. And to show I'm not totally heartless, if you aren't dead by sundown I'll release you so you can die peacefully outside the compound. I must go now but will return tomorrow and see to it that you are buried in a nice spot, though with 100 men, I doubt there will be much left of you to bury."
After giving his instructions the general left. Upon his return the next day, he found that Pete had been set free alive and well. "How could this be?" demanded the general. "It was where Pete had us stand," explained the captain of the squad.
Where did Pete tell them to stand?
Pete told them to form a circle around him. All the squad was facing in at Pete, ready to shoot, when they realized that everyone who missed would likely end up shooting another squad member. So no one dared to fire, knowing the risk. Thus at sundown he was released. clean
James ordered a fishing rod, priced at $3.56. Unfortunately, James is an Eskimo who lives in a very remote part of Greenland and the import rules there forbid any package longer than 4 feet to be imported. The fishing rod was 4 feet and 1 inch, just a little too long, so how can the fishing rod be mailed to James without breaking the rules? Ideally James would like the fishing rod to arrive in one piece!
Insert the fishing rod into a box which measures 4 feet on all sides, the fishing rod will fit within the diagonal of the box with room to spare.
Physicists have built devices to move me very fast. My last seven letters can be commonly found in newspapers, magazines and journals. What am I?