A murdered is condemned to death.
He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?
The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
Elmer Johnson went to the hardware store to make a purchase for his house.
He asked the store clerk, "How much will one cost?"
The clerk thought for a moment and said, "Three dollars."
Elmer Johnson, who looked a little puzzled said, "Well then, how much will twelve cost?"
"Six dollars," replied the clerk.
Elmer Johnson scratched his head and said, "If I were to purchase two hundred, how much would that cost?"
"That," said the clerk, "will cost you nine dollars." What was Elmer Johnson buying?
Once there was a night watchman who had been caught several times sleeping on the job. The boss issued the final warning. On the next night he was caught with his head on his hand and his elbows on the desk. "Aha, I've caught you again," exclaimed the boss. The watchman's eyes popped open immediately and he knew what had happened. Being a quick thinking man, he said one word before looking up at the boss. The boss apologized profusely and went home. What was the one word?
The one word was "AMEN", thus making the Boss believe he was praying rather than sleeping.
Sam is talking to his lawyer in jail. They are very upset because the judge has refused to grant bail. At the end of the conversation Sam is allowed to leave the jail. Why?
Sam is visiting his lawyer, who had been arrested and jailed.
In a one-story pink house, there was a pink person, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, a pink shower– everything was pink! What color were the stairs?
There weren't any stairs, it was a one storey house.
In a jungle where there is no streets lights or any other artificial source of lights, I notice a black snake crossing the road.
How did I get sight of snake ?