Why was Karl Marx buried at Highgate Cemetery in London?
Because he was dead.funnylogic
Joe bets Tony $100 that he can predict the score of the football game before it starts. Tony agrees, but loses the bet. Why did Tony lose the bet?
Joe said the score would be 0-0 and he was right. "Before" any football game starts, the score is always 0-0.logic
Betty signals to the headwaiter in a restaurant, and says, ''There is a fly in my tea.'' The waiter says ''No problem Madam. I will bring you a fresh cup of tea.'' A few minutes later Betty shouts, ''Get me the manager! This is the same cup of tea.'' How did she know? Hint: The tea is still hot.
Betty had already put sugar in her tea before sending it back. When the "new" cup came, it was already tasted sweet. cleanshort
What has a foot on each side and one in the middle?
What nuts give you a cold?
Cachoo (cashew) nuts.cleanshort
When a girl slips on the ice, why can't her brother help her up?
He can't be a brother and assist her (a sister).logic
Fred went to a hardware store in Boston with Alex, Ben, and George. He noted that a hammer cost ten times as much as a screwdriver and a power saw cost ten times as much as a hammer. The storekeeper said that Ben could buy a power saw, George could buy a screwdriver and Alex could buy a hammer. Based on this what would the storekeeper let Fred buy?
Alex's full name is Alexander and Ben's full name is Benjamin. George was Alex's boss and good friend.
Fred could buy all three (the power saw, hammer and screw driver) since he had $111 with him (a $1 bill - George Washington, a $10 Alexander Hamilton, and a $100 bill - Ben Franklin). Boston is in the USA and therefore uses the US currency I just described. logicshort
One day, Emperor Akbar posed a question to Birbal. He asked him what Birbal would choose if he offered either justice or a gold coin.
"The gold coin," said Birbal without hesitation.
On hearing this, Akbar was taken aback. "You would prefer a gold coin to justice?" he asked, not believing his own ears.
"Yes," said Birbal.
The other courtiers were amazed by Birbal's display of idiocy. They were full of glee that Birbal had finally managed himself to do what these courtiers had not been able to do for a long time - discredit Birbal in the emperor's eyes!
"I would have been disappointed if this was the choice made even by my lowliest of servants," continued the emperor. "But coming from you it's not only disappointing, but shocking and sad. I did not know you were so debased!"
How did Birbal justify his answer to the enraged and hurt Emperor?
"One asks for what one does not have, Your Majesty." said Birbal, smiling gently and in quiet tones.
"Under Your Majesty´s rule, justice is available to everybody. But I am a spendthrift and always short of money and therefore I said I would choose the gold coin."
The answer immensely pleased the emperor and respect for Birbal was once again restored in the emperor's eyes.animalcleanfunny
What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
A man had a book that was worth $40,000. There were only 2 books in existence. He threw it in the furnace, reducing it to a pile of soot. Why did he do this?
He destroyed the book because he has two, and by only having one, the value goes up.