Logic riddles with simple answers

Whoever makes it, tells it not. Whoever takes it, knows it not. Whoever knows it, wants it not.

The day before two days after the day before tomorrow is Saturday. What day is it today?

What body part is pronounced as one letter but written with three, only two different letters are used?

If you had one match and entered a room in which there were a kerosene lamp, an oil burner, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?

What is seen in the middle of March and April that can't be seen at the beginning or end of either month?

I have a face but no eyes, hands but no arms. What am I?

What is red but it smells like a blue paint?

It always becomes white when it becomes dirty. What is that?

I heard of an invading, vanquishing army sweeping across the land, liquid-quick; conquering everything, quelling resistance. With it came darkness, dimming the light. Humans hid in their houses, while outside spears pierced, shattering stones walls. Uncountable soldiers smashed into the ground, but each elicited life as he died. When the army had vanished, advancing northward, the land was gree and growing, refresh.

I am pronounced as a one letter alphabet. I am written with three letters. I am complete with just two letters. I am double. I am blue I am black I am brown I am gray I am yellow and I am green. I can read from both ends. I appear the same every way! What am I?