I am the black child of a white father, a wingless bird, flying even to the clouds of heaven. I give birth to tears of mourning in pupils that meet me, even though there is no cause for grief, and at once on my birth I am dissolved into air. What am I?
A man had a book that was worth $40,000. There were only 2 books in existence. He threw it in the furnace, reducing it to a pile of soot. Why did he do this?
He destroyed the book because he has two, and by only having one, the value goes up.
A young boy went to a Catholic school. During school he started goofing around, so the teacher called him out and sent him to the Pastor. Since this was a traditional school the boy would be spanked, but the Pastor believed in giving people a chance.
He said, "If you can ask me a question about something you learned and I don't know the answer on the spot you will go free."
The boy may have been lazy, but he was very witty. He asked, "What is it that you can see and I can see, usually every day, but God cannot see." The Pastor stood there, stumped. He couldn't figure it out because he strongly believed that God sees and knows all, and that there is only one God. The boy smiled and told him.
What was it?
His own equal! We see our equals everyday, but since there is one God, he cannot see someone equal to himself.
A group of campers have been on vacation so long, that they've forgotten the day of the week. The following conversation ensues.
Darryl: "What's the day? I dont think it is Thursday, Friday or Saturday."
Tracy: "Well that doesn't narrow it down much. Yesterday was Sunday."
Melissa: "Yesterday wasn't Sunday, tomorrow is Sunday."
Ben: "The day after tomorrow is Saturday."
Adrienne: "The day before yesterday was Thursday."
Susie: "Tomorrow is Saturday."
David: "I know that the day after tomorrow is not Friday."
If only one person's statement is true, what day of the week is it?
A couple went on for a climbing trip. But only the husband returned from the vacation and said that his wife slipped off while climbing and died. On investigating, the local sheriff arrested him saying, 'Your travel agent called. You murdered your wife.'
The man did not inform anyone about the trip. Then how did the agent was so sure that it is a murder?
The man bought only one way ticket for his wife whereas he bought two way ticket for himself. It means that he was sure that he will be returning alone.
Dodge was staying with Cousin Jamie in Jamie's lakeside cabin. They were setting up Jamie's will. As Dodge was Jamie's closest living relative, much of Jamie's estate was being left to him. One day, Jamie went to Dr Dodge very disturbed. "Doctor," he began, "I have just found out that a man named Georgio wants to get me. He will be here very soon. Where will I go? Where can I hide? If he finds me in here, he will surely kill me. I do not have time to leave this clearing and go farther into the woods."
Dr Dodge thought for a moment, and then grabbed a 5' long bamboo pole, with a diameter the size of a quarter. "Jamie, follow me out to the lake. This lake is 4' deep. If you lie on the bottom of the lake and breathe through this pole, Georgio will never find you. I will be in the bulrushes with a shotgun, and I will shoot him when he comes. I will swim down to find you when he is gone." Jamie consented, and lay down on the bottom of the lake with the bamboo pole in his mouth. A few hours later, a ranger passed by. He found Jamie's body, dead. Dr Dodge told the police of the circumstance, and that Jamie had probably panicked, and died. Police arrested Dr Dodge, on the charges of murdering Jamie. Why?
The bamboo pole did not have any cracks or holes. Its opening was above water the whole time.
Jamie died of carbon dioxide poisoning. The pole was 5' long, but only the size of a quarter. The first time he breathed in, he breathed oxygen. When he exhaled, the air could not travel 5' before he breathed in again. He was just breathing what he exhaled. Before long, all he was breathing was carbon dioxide. He died of CO2 poisoning. Doctor Doge was the one who told him to use the pole, therefore the cause of his death. Dodge is a DOCTOR, and therefore knows about the CO2. Dodge did murder Jamie. His motive: the money in the will.
Mad Ade's Uncle, Phil Space, who doesn't like what passes for art these days, ran into the National Gallery and caused millions of pounds of damage to several masterpieces. Later that day, Uncle Phil was invited to meet the manager and was warmly thanked for his actions. How come?
Uncle Phil is a fireman The water from his house damaged the paintings as he put out a fire in the Gallery, but in the process rescuing hundreds of millions of pounds worth.
It was a man's birthday. He lay dead in the lounge room of his house. Next to his body was a note, written in pencil. The note read 'Happy Birthday, Friend'. The victim had a girlfriend and the police suspected her ex-boyfriend. They could find no obvious evidence. While searching the ex-boyfriend's car, the police saw an envelope with the girlfriend's address written on it. They thought they would get the handwriting checked against the note. The scientist in charge came in early to work the next day; it was 7am. He looked out his window which faced east and stared at the rising sun and it was then that he realised how to prove the ex-boyfriend killed the man, even though the girlfriend's address was not written in the same handwriting. How did he do it?
The scientist's office faced east, and the sun was coming in through the window at a very low angle. He saw some very faint shadows on the surface of the envelope. He looked closer. There were the words embossed on the paper. They read "Happy Birthday, Friend". The ex-boyfriend had forgotten that a pencil leaves an impression on paper beneath the page written on.
