A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot.
How can this be?
I look flat, but I am deep,
Hidden realms I shelter.
Lives I take, but food I offer.
At times I am beautiful.
I can be calm, angry and turbulent.
I have no heart, but offer pleasure as well as death.
No man can own me, yet I encompass what all men must have.
Pete is a worker on a large ship with hundreds of other men. He is constantly making mistakes, tying ropes the wrong way, steering the ship the wrong way, and making other blunders. One time he accidentally caused the ship to get stuck in a shallow shore, causing thousands of dollars in damage.
However, when Steve, the captain of the ship, is asked about Pete, Steve says "I wish we had five men like Pete on this ship."
Why would he say this?
Unfortunately for the ship, there are dozens of men who are as inept as Pete is.
Captain Steve wishes there were FEWER men like Pete on the ship, since there are currently far more than five.
A young boy went to a Catholic school. During school he started goofing around, so the teacher called him out and sent him to the Pastor. Since this was a traditional school the boy would be spanked, but the Pastor believed in giving people a chance.
He said, "If you can ask me a question about something you learned and I don't know the answer on the spot you will go free."
The boy may have been lazy, but he was very witty. He asked, "What is it that you can see and I can see, usually every day, but God cannot see." The Pastor stood there, stumped. He couldn't figure it out because he strongly believed that God sees and knows all, and that there is only one God. The boy smiled and told him.
What was it?
His own equal! We see our equals everyday, but since there is one God, he cannot see someone equal to himself.
