A man lives on the 44th floor of his building. On rainy days, when he gets home from work, he takes the elevator all the way up to his floor. But on sunny days, he goes up to floor 20 and walks the rest of the way. Why does he do this?
The man is a midget and cannot reach button "44" in the elevator on sunny days. On rainy days he has his umbrella with him and is able to use it to press the button.
A petshop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot.
How can this be?
I look flat, but I am deep,
Hidden realms I shelter.
Lives I take, but food I offer.
At times I am beautiful.
I can be calm, angry and turbulent.
I have no heart, but offer pleasure as well as death.
No man can own me, yet I encompass what all men must have.
Pete is a worker on a large ship with hundreds of other men. He is constantly making mistakes, tying ropes the wrong way, steering the ship the wrong way, and making other blunders. One time he accidentally caused the ship to get stuck in a shallow shore, causing thousands of dollars in damage.
However, when Steve, the captain of the ship, is asked about Pete, Steve says "I wish we had five men like Pete on this ship."
Why would he say this?
Unfortunately for the ship, there are dozens of men who are as inept as Pete is.
Captain Steve wishes there were FEWER men like Pete on the ship, since there are currently far more than five.
