A hobo had just been kicked off the train by one of the bosses. As he made his way down a dusty side road, he noticed a saffron robed man sitting next to a campfire apparently deep in thought. A wonderful smelling stew was bubbling in a pot next to him. It had been a full day since the hobo's last meal, so he went over to the man and tapped him on the shoulder.
"I see by your robes that you are some kind of holy man," said the hobo.
The Zen Master turned to the hobo and said, "You speak the truth."
The hobo spoke, "I would sure like to try the stew you have on the campfire there; perhaps if I could tell you something to increase your wisdom, you will agree to share your meal."
The Zen Master turned to the hobo and said, "Please, you are welcome to share my meal because you have already increased my wisdom!"
What had the Zen Master learned from the hobo to increase his wisdom?
The Zen Master learned that he should find a more privace place to meditate if he doesn't want to be interrupted by every vagabond that happens by.
Elmer Johnson went to the hardware store to make a purchase for his house.
He asked the store clerk, "How much will one cost?"
The clerk thought for a moment and said, "Three dollars."
Elmer Johnson, who looked a little puzzled said, "Well then, how much will twelve cost?"
"Six dollars," replied the clerk.
Elmer Johnson scratched his head and said, "If I were to purchase two hundred, how much would that cost?"
"That," said the clerk, "will cost you nine dollars." What was Elmer Johnson buying?
Two blondes were going to disneyland and came to a fork in the road. One way said highway 93 right and the other said Disneyland left. Why did the blondes go home?
Because they thought that disneyland actually left.
I have a bed but I do not sleep.
I have a mouth but I don't eat.
You hear me whisper, but I never talk.
You can see me run, yet I never walk.
What am I?
Four cars come to a four way stop, all coming from a different direction. They can't decide who got there first, so they all entered the intersection at the same time. They do not crash into each other. How is this possible?
John Heysham Gibbon was most renowned surgeon of 1940-1970. More than 90% of his surgeries he performed are highly successful and still almost all of his patients die.
The surgery was performed way back, by now approx 90% of them have died by old age.
Pronounced as one letter,
And written with three,
Two letters there are,
And two only in me.
I’m double, I’m single,
I’m black blue and gray,
I’m read from both ends,
And the same either way.
You have two cups. One cup is filled with black coffee and another cup is filled with black tea. Both cups are filled with equal quantity of respective beverages. Take one spoonful of black tea and mix with the cup of black coffee. Then take one spoonful of black coffee and mix it with the cup of black tea.
Now tell, me which cup has more liquid in it? Does the cup of black tea has more liquid or black coffee has more liquid?
Both cups have equal quantity of respective drink. You take one spoonful from tea and mix it with coffee and vice versa.
A dead body is found at the bottom of a multistory building. Seeing the position of the body, it is evident that the person jumped from one of the floors, committing suicide.
A homicide detective is called to look after the case. He goes to the first floor and walks in the room facing the direction in which the body was found.
He opens the window in that direction and flips a coin towards the floor. Then he goes to the second floor and repeats the process. He keeps on doing this until he reaches the last floor. Then, when he climbs down he tells the team that it is a murder not suicide.
How did he come to know that it was a murder?
None of the windows were left open. If the person jumped, who closed the window?
Sometimes I am loved, usually by the young. Other times I am dreaded, mostly by the old ones. I am hard to remember, also hard to forget. And yet if you do, You'll make someone upset. I occur every day everyone has to face me. Even if you don't want it to happen; embrace me. What am I?
